Quotes From Bill Watterson
Quotes From Bill Watterson (Author of
The Complete Calvin And Hobbes)
“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.”
―
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”
―
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“People pay more attention when they think you’re up to something.”
―
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”
―
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“The way Calvin's brain is wired you can almost hear the fuses blowing.”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but what it's seen on TV.”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats.”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!”― Weirdos From Another Planet: Calvin & Hobbes Series: Book Six: A Calvin and Hobbes Collection
“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”― The Calvin And Hobbes: Tenth Anniversary Book
“I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.”― The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.”― The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book
“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”― The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
“There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.”― The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes
“The world isn't fair, Calvin."― The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”
“I've been thinking Hobbes"―
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose”
“I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.”― The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“Now what state do you live in?'― The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
'Denial.”
“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”―
“I'd hate to have a kid like me.”― The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”― The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.”― There's Treasure Everywhere
“I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.”― The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.”― The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes
“I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.”― The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.”―
“It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.”―
“I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”―
“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”―
“You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.―
What mood is that?
Last-minute panic.”
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”―
“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”―
“You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.”―
“You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!”―
“I'm a misunderstood genius."―
"What's misunderstood?"
"Nobody thinks I'm a genius.”
“Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?”―
“God put me on earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I’m so far behind, I’ll never die.”―
“That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.”―
“I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”―
“Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.”―
“Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand new!― It's a Magical World
A new year ... a fresh, clean start! It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on! A day full of possibilities! It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy ... let's go exploring!”
“I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.”― It's a Magical World
“They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.”―
“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”―
“From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.”― Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
“A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.”― There's Treasure Everywhere
“If you can't win by reason, go for volume.”―
“The problem about the future is that it keeps turning into the present.”―
“I'm related to people I don't relate to.”―
“Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.”―
“In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.”― It's a Magical World
“I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!”― Something Under the Bed is Drooling
“For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well TOUGH BEANS! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I want! This is who I am - Take it or leave it!”―
“For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray. And that is how I got to where I find myself today.”―
“I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.”―
“Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.”―
“I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.”― The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.”― The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.”―
“I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.”―
“Good friends are hard to come by.. I need more money.”―
“Your preparation for the real world is not in the answers you’ve learned, but in the questions you’ve learned how to ask yourself.”―
“I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.”― The Revenge of the Baby-Sat
“In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.”―
“Once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.”―
“Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you're done before you know it.”―
“The best presents don't come in boxes.”― The Calvin and Hobbes Lazy Sunday Book
“Calvin: I'm being educated against my will! My rights are being trampled!― Calvin and Hobbes
Hobbes: Is it a right to remain ignorant?
Calvin: I don't know, but I refuse to find out!”
“Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?”― Calvin and Hobbes
“I'm thinking of starting my own talk radio show. I'll spout simplistic opinions for hours on end, ridicule anyone who disagrees with me, and generally foster divisiveness, cynicism, and a lower level of public dialog!”―
“I'm only civil because I don't know any swear words.”―
“I've never understood people who remember childhood as an idyllic time.”―
“When you look into infinity, you realize there are more important things than what people do all day.”― Calvin & Hobbes
“Imagination is not always appreciated.”―
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